Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
I can resist anything but temptation.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course.
Those who can do, those who can't teach.
Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.
England and America are two countries divided by a common language.
My reputation grows with every failure.
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.
Martyrdom: The only way a man can become famous without ability.
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
I was always unlawful; I broke the law when I was born because my parents weren't married.
Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.
Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying.
A true friend stabs you in the front.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
No man is rich enough to buy back his past.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.